life of a student
horoscope of the day:
The Bottom Line
The restrictions you have put on yourself recently might have been too stringent.
In Detail
The restrictions you have put on yourself recently might have been too stringent, and it might be time for you to loosen up a little bit. You don't have to be so hard on yourself to achieve your goals. Sometimes, you need to start encouraging yourself instead of pushing yourself! The only person you really have to satisfy is you, so cut yourself some slack! Go out and have some fun today. Goof off. Remind yourself not to take life so seriously -- you'll be wowed by what you've accomplished!
well, it may be quite true. but i can't afford to loosen myself up. block tests are coming up and i'm very worried about it. seriously, i have officially surrendered my life to studies. i have claimed that i have no life and am a slave for education. it's a sad, exhausting and lonely life. but i guess i have to bear with it and be a stronger person than i am before. i can't give up! and i won't give up!
JO, YOU CAN DO IT!!!
ANNOYED WITH LIFE
You know what?
I'm starting to hate life, hate school, and hate my parents.
Mum's not talking to anyone. But I don't really care about it. She's starting a cold war with the family on her own. Super annoyed by it! WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER, MAN!
i dread school as usual. homework has been piling up and there isn't enough time for me to study my tests and exams! i want to do well but i feel that i've reached my limits and have less motivation to advance anymore. how useless can i get in life?
I'm so annoyed with everything! I feel so pressurised! I'm tired and i just want a long break where i can take a breather and calm myself. I really hate how things is now. Nothing seems motivational to me. I feel so down...
COFFEE PRINCE
I just read my horoscope for the day and i think it's kind of true.
here's what it says:
The Bottom Line
The similarities you share with a friend are getting too intense. Get distance.
In Detail
The similarities you share with your close friends are getting so intense that you're starting to feel like you're part of a set of triplets or twins! Before you lose all sense of your own identity (or worse -- that new cutie doesn't know who you really are), step away from the group and make your own mark on the world today. Wearing matching outfits, constant text messaging, and being attached at the hip are fine every now and then, but today you need to be your own person!
I guess i know who the person is. But he still hasn't contacted me the whole day. So i guess i'm pretty safe from saving my own identity. Sometimes, i do think that Jet and i have loads of similarities and yet loads of differences at the same time. But maybe, it's time for me to be less dependent on him when i'm feeling down or moody and needs someone to comfort me. It's time i need to be strong to ignore all my negative feelings and be focus!
JIA YOU, JO!!! YOU CAN DO IT!I've got loads of work to do. But i've been feeling very unmotivated for this whole week. Sometimes, it's so bad that i don't feel like looking or touching them. Sometimes, i just stared blankly at them and feel so frustrated about my attitude towards work. Sometimes, i just feel empty without them and yet still feel insecure not doing them. I'm such a troublesome person, with so many complicated feelings that i myself don't even understand. I guess this is what people call growing up in your teenage years.
And sometimes, it makes me want to be so much younger and so much older at the same time.
How ironic...
Enough of my feelings.
I've been feeling moody the whole day and as usual, i used a facade to hide it in front of everyone in school. It's the last episode of COFFEE PRINCE today. and i feel both happy and sad at the same time. Happy, because i've finally watched COFFEE PRINCE to the very end. Sad, because my everyday motivation and looking forward has ended. Now, i'm seriously lost and unmotivated. I don't know what to look forward to till the end of the day for tomorrow and the days to come. My only leisure time for the day has ended. I feel so sad. BOOHOO!!! =[
I WANT COFFEE PRINCE!
I LOVE COFFEE PRINCE!
I WANT COFFEE PRINCE!
I LOVE COFFEE PRINCE!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COMPARISONS
Sometimes, people just don't understand how you feel. about yourself, about what people think about you and about how you portray yourself to others. even the closest people [my family] don't understand what I'm suffering through with all the comparisons in school.
it just makes me feel so demoralized sometimes. like I'm always the
ugly duckling and my siblings are
the cream of the crop, the beautiful swans and princesses.
so what if i have a
dull, boring, fierce and unfriendly look. so what if i'm
boyish, unglam or whatever you can name it. i'm just who i am and stop comparing me with my sis! don't you know that your words hurts the person who is listening to it. it's making me feel so bad about myself that sometimes i just don't want to talk to anyone or even don't feel like going to school to avoid them.
does it make you happy to see me not being confident? does it make you happy to make me feel upset over how i look? if it is, then you have fulfilled your goal in making me feel all the bads about myself.
maybe i'm just being oversensitive about people's comments on me. maybe i look too much into the way people think or see me. maybe i can't take the words of others lightly. i always have to think about the bad side of what they are trying to say. but it does hurt when comments like
"looks like all the good genes have gone into your sister and not you",
"you know your sis have this perk up look and you've got this boring sian sian look", and
"your sister is prettier than you". All these comments just keep coming to me and it's unavoidable. I don't want to lose a friendship or flare up at others over such a small comment. but if lots are coming into you, it makes these unhappy emotions in me accumulate and contributes to me being not as confident as i was before. Furthermore, i have to face the person, whom people keep comparing me with, everyday. and guess what? just like when i was young, i still don't want my sister to come to the same school as me. but nevertheless, she's always stuck with me. I thought i have already overcome this problem of mine about the comparisons. But i was wrong.
IT JUST TOTALLY MAKE ME FEEL SO DEMORALIZE. LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF LOSER TO THEM.
i'm trying not to take words from others too seriously. like what CINDY told me
"be optimistic and don't bother what others say. you're living your life what. just don't care about them. ignore ignore ignore"i feel comfortable with those words. i need to learn to ignore sometimes. or else there may come a point one day that i don't want to talk to or interact with anyone or even be friends with anyone ever.
so
JUST STOP IT!
Inferior
I'm depressed.
and i know the reasons why.
i'm down.
and i'm holding on a facade to hide it.
i'm moody.
but i just don't know how to show it.
all smiles in school.
but left alone, i'm crying inside.
i hate this feeling.
but i just can't help it.
I feel inferior.
SOMEONE! SAVE ME!
Seeker
I seek comfort in my cousins, especially JET, JOANNE and WILLOW.
They're the greatest.
And I feel love with them.
Now, I know who to turn to when I'm down.
Who cares about what people say!
Jojo, keep your positive spirit up!
=]
I HATE MYSELF
First day of proper school lessons have just started today. I'm feeling a little restless and moody right now. I just sense that i won't be able to cope with the things i want to achieve and the things i need to achieve. in simple words, i feel like a
total loser right now.
well, today was a long day with lectures, tutorials, pe and wushu. I want to achieve my goals of obtaining a healthy and fit lifestyle that will not affect my studying methods and my academic grades. but i just find it so hard to change my lifestyle just like that. it's like whenever i'm stress, i'll just reach out to the fridge and get some food to munch. and i really mean MUNCH! Furthermore, i don't feel confident of myself as much as i am before. i think i'm suffering from image disorder or something. but seriously, i think i'm fat and unflattering. after knowing that i've gain so much weight and have developed a disproportional figure, i feel like a total fat ass giant.
People will start telling me about my height and all. But i'll still feel that same way. I understand why i'm feeling like this but i just can't help controlling my feelings especially when it comes to these situations where i'm caught in a world of countless homework which i'm struggling to cope and loads of emotional feelings in my mind which i can't control. ARGH!
Seriously, i need someone to talk to right now. someone to encourage me to work out and to study hard to achieve my goals. someone to boost me on to be an all-rounder which has always been my dream ever since young. I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TALK! JET!!!
ARGH! I HATE MYSELF NOW.
