can't stop eating

I HATE MYSELF

First day of proper school lessons have just started today. I'm feeling a little restless and moody right now. I just sense that i won't be able to cope with the things i want to achieve and the things i need to achieve. in simple words, i feel like a total loser right now.

well, today was a long day with lectures, tutorials, pe and wushu. I want to achieve my goals of obtaining a healthy and fit lifestyle that will not affect my studying methods and my academic grades. but i just find it so hard to change my lifestyle just like that. it's like whenever i'm stress, i'll just reach out to the fridge and get some food to munch. and i really mean MUNCH! Furthermore, i don't feel confident of myself as much as i am before. i think i'm suffering from image disorder or something. but seriously, i think i'm fat and unflattering. after knowing that i've gain so much weight and have developed a disproportional figure, i feel like a total fat ass giant.

People will start telling me about my height and all. But i'll still feel that same way. I understand why i'm feeling like this but i just can't help controlling my feelings especially when it comes to these situations where i'm caught in a world of countless homework which i'm struggling to cope and loads of emotional feelings in my mind which i can't control. ARGH!

Seriously, i need someone to talk to right now. someone to encourage me to work out and to study hard to achieve my goals. someone to boost me on to be an all-rounder which has always been my dream ever since young. I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TALK! JET!!!

ARGH! I HATE MYSELF NOW.

posted by Jos @ 8:31 AM