brother, i'm sorry.
dear faeriefablemy energy level now is in between sleepy and energetic. you can say it's neutral. i'm feeling pretty bored now although i know i got WR to do and lots of other stuff. i feel so messed up now. i'm not organized and i'm dreading school tmr, partly because i have to continue with PW, partly because i don't feel like socializing with the people in class sometimes and partly because i'm getting my results back. i sense some bad grades coming my way and i know chemistry is one of them. i heard from sherman that only 20% of the cohort passed chemistry and i highly doubt that i would be in the 20%. -sigh-
WR is still uncompleted with many things to edit and correct. i'm in a state of confusion about what needs to be done, despite being the leader. i seriously think that i don't have any leadership skills. i'm always so unprepared and disorganized for meetings. so it's needless to say that i did something wrong in my last meeting, where i almost had a conflict with rachel and jasmine because of my unplanned meeting. i'm sorry. i didn't mean to talk to you people that way. i know it's my fault. sorry.
i've done many wrong things this year. maybe i'm not as easy going as i think i would be. i'm not sociable and i'm just a fussy, picky busybody. i find myself irritating and i think people feels that way too. maybe i should just stop talking in school unless necessary. i hate myself for goofing up all the things i did. i just can't stand myself disliking everyone in the world, sometimes. i'm just weird and dumb and i don't want to talk. i'm an unfriendly dude with a facade that says i'm friendly. i just hate myself for existing. argh!
well, i'm saying all these because i said some mean stuff to my brother who just had a birthday celebration at home. everyone in the family went out to have dinner together outside except for me. so i didn't had a proper dinner today, just had cake and 2 museli bars. i didn't really have any appetite today because of the stress piling up in my head. the cake was creamy and i didn't really like it. but my stupid blabber mouth had to say it out loud and upset my brother, who was the one who chose the cake. i didn't really smile when i sang the birthday song either. and my bro just keep asking me "why the sulking face?". i have no answer, just a reply "stress" to end his question. i'm such a bad sister. argh!
sorry boy. i didn't mean to say your cake was bad tasting. it's just my poor appetite. sorry ok? i find some way to make it up to you. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
yesterday was pretty much a nice day because i had buffet at sakura with the cousins. the food was not fantastic but it was tasty enough. i was so bloated by the end of the day! we walked around HMV and i listened to the latest click five album "modern minds and pastimes". the song "jenny" and "happy birthday" was one of the nicest. the rest was just so-so. then, we took some photos outside HMV and left. Initially, i intended to go home, but jet suggested that i could stay at his house and i said ok. so i made a last minute decision to stay at jet's house. I was so tired that immediately slept when i went into the bedroom. and yes, i didn't bath. totally dirty and gross! but i was too lazy to get up. haha. well, i woke up at 12 noon. it's been such a long time since i slept that long! haha. then, jet and i chilled for a while before i left his house at around 4.30pm. stayovers are always so fun! although this time, we didn't do much cos i slept early and woke up late but still, chilling out together was absolutely pleasant! i want cousin chalet this december holiday!!! woohoo!
well, i should really get some sleep now. i'll end this post with a click five song "happy birthday" to my brother, melvin. i love you and you'll always be my sweet brother who chases the mrt with me every morning! haha. bye!
Happy Birthday - The Click Five
hey you, i know i'm in the wrong
time flies when you're having fun
you wake up another year is gone you're 21
i guess you wanna know
why i'm on the phone
its been a day or so
i know its kinda late
but happy birthday
yeah yeah woah woah
i know you hate me
yeah yeah woah woah
well i miss you too
yeah yeah i know
i know it's kinda late
but happy birthday
so hard when you're far away
its lame but i forgot the days
i wont make the same mistake
i'm so too blame
so now you know
don't hang up the phone
i wish i was at home
i know its way to late
but happy birthday
yeah yeah woah woah
i know you hate me
yeah yeah woah woah
well i miss you too
yeah yeah i know
i know its kinda late
but happy birthday
its not that i don't care
you know i'll make it up to you
if i could i'd be there
yeah yeah woah woah
yeah yeah woah woah
well i miss you too
yeah yeah i know
i know its kinda late
but happy birthday
i know you hate me
yeah yeah woah woah
well i miss you too
yeah yeah i know
i know its kinda late
but happy birthday
to you.
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