my bad attitude towards work
dear faeriefableit's been a long time since i last update. maybe i'm just being plain lazy. moreover, i feel that my family members are reading this blog. hence, i no longer feel the security to say anything here. nonetheless, i'll still keep this blog updated in order to pent up too much feelings and thought in my mind.
well, i think i've changed alot these past few months. and i think it's bad. one side of me tells me that studies is less important than i thought it was before. however, the other side of me tells me it's wrong to think that way and that studies is still very important in my life. i've slacked too much. i've become too complacent after mid years. i'm back to holiday moods; eating, sleeping, watching tv and using the com for no reason. moreover, this time i think it's becoming worse. i've started to seek the outside world to keep myself busy. i'm starting to make going out as a habit and i think i've got to cut this habit. it's bad. i have better things to do. i can't keep going out and lead this slacker life. this is bad. this is so bad!!!
i've been going to kangli's church every saturday. i'm still lost and i don't know if i've made the right choice. sometimes, i keep thinking of what rachel told me the other time. she said church is like a place where they brainwash you. and to tell the truth, i agree to that. i don't know why. but sometimes, i think He doesn't exist. it's just an imagination that people think. it's just the mentality of the believer. it's like a big lie that everyone believed. i don't know. i'm afraid of commitment and people in church just keep asking me to meet up with them to go for care group, to talk to them and to let them explain more about Him. sometimes, i have this thinking that i have better things to do. that being a free thinker is better. at least there isn't much commitment to make. this christian thingy is driving me crazy. -sigh-
okay. happy things happy thing. let's talk about happy things. i've send the first draft of WR to mr max!!! haha. yay!! i feel so happy completing something! although i know the showcase is quite crappy but it's better than nothing. now, i just have to wait for mr max to comment on it. i've also handed up my first EOM to mr max and i know i wrote rubbish. so i'm prepared that he will throw it back at me and tell me to redo. haha. the deadline to hand up NRP progress report is also nearing. i've discussed with the hwa cong guy to split job. and i've to complete my work before 17 august or the project is deem to be a failure. haha.
well, i think i've wrote enough. time to complete my econs homework and practice math! i've got to work hard. 46 days to promos! JIA YOU JO!!! gtg! bye!
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