dear faeriefable
i can't wait for tomorrow or even sunday! i'm going to meet joanne! yay! plus, we're going to try out something new together and we'll be spending time together too! i'm so excited! haha.
i had GP class mock test earlier the day and i totally screwed it up. i only wrote 2 supporting points and no more! i'm so dead! i know mr max is going to tell me to get the withdrawal form. i seriously think that i really need to buck up especially GP. i expected that i couldn't finish the paper today and i really did. argh! why do i always have trouble in english and essay writing! i'm always having problems with my languages! argh!!! i'm such a failure! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
i've also made a speech today during wushu. my heart was pounding so hard and was so nervous. i don't even think i can get a position in the exco. i really think that my JC life would be terrible. it'll only be filled with studies studies and more studies! there's like nothing more than that. i don't want it to be like this. i want to commit to something fun. sometimes when i look at the house com, i will regret not filling the form and at least have the courage to take that opportunity. but i know i won't get it. i'm worrying for my testimonial now. i can predict that it's going to be empty. i can see that future will be very dim and that no school would want a loser like me. i'm so dead! why did i even land myself into this position! i'm feel so down now, thinking about this. i don't have much confidence now. i look at the people around me in school and i think about them being all so successful and me standing on the same spot where it says "square one". i really think that i've no talent, no good qualities and no future. will someone help me?!?! WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
i can feel the tsunami of homework now. i have exams for all subjects next week and i've yet to complete my homework and revise. i've done lots of procrastination and it's seriously going to affect me in future. moreover, my intention of doing work has never been fulfilled and i'm practically going to end up retaining one year in JC or proceed on to poly. i feel so dead and stress! i know everyone's feeling it but they seem to be coping pretty well. i want to be able to cope well and do well as a 100% muggable but fun student. i know this would never be possible. how can i have the time to have fun when i need to mug at the same time? this is so impossible! argh!!!
i gtg now. i know this entry is pretty pessimistic. the only thing that i'm looking forward would be joanne. i'm sure she'll be an energy booster to me. i definitely need her and jet to give me support now. i'm afraid i might break down any moment. stress level is so damn high! well, bye!
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