once again, i'm being mean
dear faeriefablei so miss the cousins now! i don't know what to do not thinking about them from time to time, especially when i'm in a dazed or when i'm bored or free. they just make my day, and not seeing them or contacting them for a long time makes me sad. JOANNE's 18 already! haha.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNE!!! it's ego eighteen this year so show me some attitude!!! haha. nah! you're too kind to show me attitude! you'll always be my role model and the caring big sister! haha. love you loads!!! i want to go out with some time!!!
i haven't been having phone conversations with jet these few days. guess he's pretty busy these few days, with the shoots, school work and job. he has too many commitments already. sometimes, it makes me feel a little envious about him. i want to be a busy person so i won't think too much! haha. seriously, i've been getting comments from people in school that i think too much. am i really thinking too much into things or is this just my nature? i don't think i'm reading too much into things but people just keep telling me that and sometimes it irritates me. haha. it's not wrong to think too much right? i mean it's just thinking. it won't do me any harm, will it? haha. anyway, jet's busy and i've got no one to consult to. argh!!! JET HAN!!! CAN YOU NOT BE THAT BUSY?!?! haha.
i've realised something recently. something about myself. and i find it very weird to the extent that sometimes it freaks me out. i've realised i've changed alot and i don't really wish to change. i know there's pros and cons to changes but i think the sudden change in me is seriously freaking me out! i've never really talk that openly to people in school before. i've never been like what i am now, talking loudly, messaging in school and even wanting to get attention from friends sometimes. i think i've turn myself into a freak! this change in me is scaring the wits out of me and i don't understand why either. I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE AND I DON'T WISH TO CHANGE! I WANT MY OLD SELF BACK! i want the nerdy me! it just totally suit my image and i want it back now! i've been slacking alot and i feel uneasy about it. i've been spending alot and i feel bad about it. teng, too, thinks that i've changed alot since i've entered JC and i find the change kind of bad. it's good in that it helps me communicate with the people around me better. but it's bad because it's freaking me out and i find weird about it. seriously, i need someone to talk to me and i know that suitable candidate would be JET HAN KUN DING!!! argh!
and yes! i know these few days i've been getting irritated easily. PMS i guess. haha. i've been saying a lot of "shut up" to people which i think is rude. i didn't mean it. it just came out so naturally from my mouth that i didn't realised i've used it until the conversation between me and the party ended. i'm such a mean person! i should just stop using that word and eliminate it from my dictionary of words. it's not going to help me in future. i've got to stop it once and for all and i'm determined! yosh!
well, i'm ending this post here. i know i've been updating quite a bit recently. jet's busy and i've got no one to consult to, so this is my last resort into talking things out with myself. haha. i know it's weird. but it's my style. haha. gtg now! bye!
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