can't stop eating

i'm a loser.

dear faeriefable

i feel so screwed up! there's like so many things left undone and i don't think i'll be able to cope! i feel so stress! i don't know what to do! i feel so sleepy and drained out! my timetable is horrendous! it's like ending school so late everyday! what's more, i still have to travel to NTU to do the biofuel project! there's just no space time for me to take a break and relax! argh!

i know i'm giving myself too much pressure. i want to meet my expectations. i don't want to disappoint myself and my parents. i'm such a loser. i can't even manage my time, let alone be able to meet my expectations and cope with homework. i feel so crappy! my brain's not functioning properly. it needs rest and sleep and i'm lacking it! i barely slept 5 hours a day ever since the permanent timetable started. i'm starting to dread going school. i don't like the chinese teacher and i don't understand what he's trying to teach me. the things that he teach are so irrelevant to the chapters. i don't know what to do!!! i want help and yet i want to be independent at the same time! what am i thinking, man! me? independent? that's totally impossible! i'm such a failure! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

i've been showing a black face the whole of today. everyone's been asking me why and i can't find the answer. i just don't like going school nowadays. i've got no one to talk to and i don't wish to talk to anyone too. i'm back to my anti-social self again. i knew this day would come and people will find me a nuisance. i don't sense class spirit and it's so monotonous during lesson time. argh! plus, i don't think i can cooperate with my project partner. we just can't settle on a right date to go back to NTU to start on the project! monday, tuesday and thursday are days when school ends late. wednesday and friday are CCA days. and the professor doesn't want to do the project on weekends! argh!!! i don't know what to do!!! i feel like screaming my hearts out and just run away from this world! i'm so not organised! i need time management guidance!!! argh!!!

posted by Jos @ 4:18 AM