capabilities or not?
dear faeriefablei'm quite screwed up now. i seriously think i can't cope in MJC. i've been feeling very moody for the whole of today because i somehow regretted joining wushu as my CCA. but after countless persuasion from calister and advice from joanne, ah peck and a few other people, i decided not to brood over it. since i've already joined wushu, i shall be committed to it and learn to be interested in it. maybe it won't be that bad. maybe i'll be able to find my talent in it. who knows? haha.
well, i shall quit joking about things already. i'm feeling very stress nowadays. the thoughts of the countless number of tutorials i'll soon to have keep reccuring in my mind. it's making bongus! we're only in temporary timetable and we already have chemistry and math tutorials to complete. plus, there is also PW, which is the scariest and most worrying part of all the homework i have! i fear i will not be able to meet the standards that i set for myself. i don't have the confidence to cope with school work. everyone's working so hard in school and i fear i lacking behind in the competition. there's also GP which i have no idea what i can do about, other than reading the papers. [and i don't read the papers!] i bet i can't get into a university! i bet no school wants me! i bet i'll disappoint my parents and everyone else! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I NEED HELP! I NEED ADVICE!! I NEED SUPPORT!!! I FEEL LIKE RUNNING AWAY AND NOT GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE!!!
i'm offically involved in a NRP project and that will be adding more weight into my workload. i know it's going to benefit me in future. but time is the problem. i'm struggling to juggle school work and projects now. although NRP hasn't even started, i'm very sure that it will take up lots of my time. NRP, GP and PW! i just don't want to think about them! they are ranked as the most feared subjects that i'll be facing in my JC life. i want to master them but i know i'm not capable enough to do so. my english sucks and i can't improve! I NEED TUITION AND I NEED TIME!! I NEED JET AND THE COUSINS SO URGENTLY!! I NEED THEIR SUPPORT!!
teng said: "you're easily succumbed to peer pressure." i totally agree to that. i want a change in life. i want a change in my personality. i want a change in my character. i want to be able to have my own opinions and not get convinced so easily. i want to fight for my ideas. i want to be a capable girl! but am i able to do that? i need an answer.
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