living life aimlessly
life's doing okay. starting to adapt to the environment that i am in now. well, i'm still not really used to having HER sitting in front of me in class. she seems quite irritating and lame but then again she can be quite friendly. the only thing is she is too friendly and once you start treating her well she will start pestering you. so maybe i'm not really as racist as i think i am.i've not really talk to weeling since school started. maybe since the incident happened last year, we have started to be more like strangers now. well, school's been quite stressful lately with all the exams coming up. and i'm having complicated feelings again. but i think this time it is a little different. teng has just joined my CCA and now she has to go home with me or rather stick with me during my CCA. and my bball mates are more on talking to her than me. she's more sociable which is the thing that i'm afraid of. it takes me a pretty long time to accept someone as my friend or to make friend with someone so i'm afraid that i'll lose my friends. and i don't like teng to always stick with me. i mean even in basketball, she can go and play with her sec 3 friends right? why must she play with my sec 4 friends and me? i sometimes i just dunno why she like to do silly stuff.
these few days i've been thinking whether i'm too overconfident of myself already. i like the shy, not really very out-going me. well, gaining confidence is good but gaining too much is not good. i've been thinking that i'm being very proud. i don't like proud people so when i reflect about myself being proud, i don't like the person that i'm thinking. i also don't really like the way i treat my family members sometimes. i think i got AP cos whenever i am in bad mood i will just vent my anger on them which is no good. i should try correcting my actions and ways.
i've been asking people what school they want to go after they graduated. well, i've heard many that they want to go VJC. and sijie wants to take humanities course which i think is the art course in TJC. i don't even know what school i want to go in future and what occupation i want to be. i'm just practically living life aimlessly. peck hong is also like me. well, ah peck, we are aimless beings. haha. i'm also very worried about my english and humanities. i really have difficulty in my languages. today when mrs tan ask us to read the article and pick out words which we don't know, i really had a lot of words which i dunno. my grammar and vocabulary is very lousy. and i always use the same words to express what i want to say in compo. i really need to read more newspapers and stuff to improve my english. it is one of the subjects that is putting me down. haix... mrs tan seems to be looking down on me. i know my english is lousy, you don't have to hint me, right? and i know the class have lots of english-educated people whom you love them dearly but you are just neglecting the weaker students like me. haix...
moreover, i stressed over the physic rep thingy. yes. i'm offically the physic rep in my class. and i don't even know when did i become the geography rep in my class too. everybody in my class who attends geography just push the responsibility of collecting worksheets and money and ordering files to me. hello!!! i'm not wonderwoman or superman you know. i need a break. and while the rest are so free, can't you just be the geography rep. it just seems so unfair. i think i shall seek melissa for help since she is the chairman in class. i shall ask her to tell the class to elect a geography rep so that i will not be too busy. yup. i shall do that... haha.
well, math i love you so much!!! but i don't know what occupation can i be to study math?
ok gtg now. it's late and i've got school tmr. haha. thanks danny for the advice. i really can count on you. haha.. gtg. bye!!!
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