messed up
dear faeriefable
i'm very moody now. heard a terrible news when i can't home from the cousin outing today. and i feel so guilty that i'm not by teng's side at that time. yup. my parents quarrelled again. and teng was left all alone to deal with this dramatic incident. boy and i were staying over at amy's house and joyce went to work, so she didn't have anyone to ask for help or what so ever. i feel so bad. why must they quarrel? why can't they just communicate properly? i very scared that they will divorce. but i just couldn't find a solution to this problem. will having a lot of money help you people to talk to each other better? i hate money. can't they just be less materialistic? why must they be so stubborn and petty? they were once good parents when i was young but things changed. they are no longer good parents. they haven't thought about us. they never think that the way they communicate, the way they react to each other in front of us and the way they avoid each other affected our lives. they haven't give us a happy family and they haven't provided us with the love and care that we needed. what we want is just a happy family like amy's family, like calister's family and like hwee's family. they sound happy and loving. sometimes i just feel that coming home is such a chore because i have to face this scene everyday and be a middleman. we have to hear you guys talk about how difficult you have to pay bills, how difficult you guys work to earn money and how difficult you guys faced each other. things have really turned very serious. i guess you guys have no feelings for each other already. i have no solutions to this but to think that i'll earn lots of money to solve the money problem. this family is broken. the photos i see about the past can no longer depict this family. i feel like running away now. what am i to do? what can we children do to keep this family together? i hate this feeling...
i've been out the whole of this week and last week. this is the first time i've been out so many times and so many consecutive days. i'm totally exhausted and i just want to stay at home and rest. but xiang just called to ask for help. he needs me to take his coat to change for a bigger size. i didn't want to agree to it but i didn't dare to reject cos we're family and family should help family. and so i'm in a dilemma. i've got no choice but to say yes. i didn't want to go alone so i dragged jet to come along with me. [sorry jet] i feel so guilty. cos he had a busy week like me. we're mostly out of our house and we really are tired of going out. i hope this trip would be the last trip. and XIANG, YOU OWE US A TREAT AND A REALLY BIG TREAT!!! i'll remember this. you owe us big time man. haha. so the trip tomorrow will be like this. first, we have to meet joanne at 1230pm at woodlands [!!!][it's so far!!!] and then we have to go to parkway parade to change the coat to a bigger size and go to dhoby gourd to give it to xiang at around 3pm. and that's the end of the trip. guess it'll be another tiring day... haix...
ok today, we had a cousin outing. and we went to katong shopping centre to sing KTV. the place is really small but it's cheap. 1 room for 3 hours only cost $18. so we spilt the cost. oh! and we met joanne's friend too. she accompanied joanne to katong shopping centre which is a super ulu place. haha. after that, we took a bus to parkway parade and ate at MOS burger which is the place i worked previously. i feel so bad, acting like i don't know the people there. haha. but it's over. so i don't really care. anyway, the experience there wasn't very good. ok. back to the point. after eating at MOS burger, we went to buy ice cream and spilt ways. cindy, steph and i went to eat mac's ice cream. jet and boy went to eat scoopz's ice cream. and joanne and amy went to eat anderson's ice cream. so we went different ways to buy our ice cream and met up later. i ate strawberry sundae which is kind of too sweet for my taste buds. haha. after buying ice cream, we went to meet up with jet and boy outside chameleon which is an accessories shop. the boys refuse to come into the shop so they waited outside the shop doing nothing. haha. then the girls [me, cindy and steph] went into the shop and looked for rubber bands and tried on many rings. haha. we took such a long time in the shop that we've forgotten about the boys outside. haha. soon, amy and joanne came and we took bus together and went home. this outing ended so fast.
how i wish time could just stop and we would spend all the time we want together. but i know that's impossible. haha.
so i've decided on the schools for PAE. now's the time for boy to decide which secondary school he wants to go. mum's so anxious about him. we had to take loads of buses and try out many schools to see if the school is at a convenient distance from our house or to see if the school is good or not. i didn't have to do all that when i was at primary 6. poor ah boy have to do all these things and DRAG US ALL DOWN!!! so he is the reason why i've been out all day. cos i have to accompany mum and him to try out schools and buses. he better choose properly or i'm going to kill him. haha. so we went to bedok green's and bedok view's open houses and their schools are so huge and new. so envious!!! but i'm leaving secondary school already so it doesn't matter much. but bedok green give me quite a good impression. bedok view doesn't. but mum wants boy to go to bedok view or hai sing catholic cos their aggregate marks is about the same as his. whatever it is, i feel that he will know which school is right for him. the decision is his anyway. haha.
ok i think i gtg now. need to go and bathe. i really had a super exhausting day!!! ok gtg now. bye!
selection of schools
dear faeriefable
this is my 100th post!!! woohoo!!! didn't expect to hit the 100 mark actually... haha. thought i would quit halfway in this blog cos i normally don't use the computer that much. thus i thought i would most likely abandon this blog or something. haha. well, i'm glad i didn't... haha.
ok. today or rather yesterday [cos it's 0402 in the morning now] woke up at around 0900 or 0930 in the morning and heard from my brother that he's going school to take his PSLE results later. so i was like: "why nobody tell me it's today?" evil people. luckily i woke up early today or else i won't get the chance to see ah boy's result slip. so ah boy got 229 for his PSLE and i'm quite happy for him although he can't make it to the school that i wanted him to go. sad but still happy. haha. i think my primary school has deproved quite alot. they've gone down from 280+ in my year to 271 this year!!! can you believe it? and i was quite shocked to see that most of the pupils in my primary school are like ah bengs and ah lians. from the way they talk, i was like: "what has happened to this school? is it because of the change of principals or what?" but who cares? i've left the school already. haha.
well, i've been pondering about my choices of schools for the PAE and i've submitted my entry already. i'm still worried that i can't get into the school that i wanted. my mind was like: "NYJC OR MJC? which should i put as my first choice?" in the end, i settled down with MJC science as my first choice and NYJC science as my second choice cos MJC is closer to my house than NYJC. i find that all the JCs do not have a convenient route from my house. it's like i have to take a feeder bus or a train to reach to that certain JC. moreover, most of them are not in the east. they're most likely to be in the west or the central region. just hacing the thought of taking so many buses to reach school and back home gives me a headache. i'm so not looking forward to this PAE thingy. argh!!!
although i've submitted my PAE entry, i still feel kind of unease about my entry. i feel that i've not thought about my choices seriously. it's like a decision that i've made rashly. think i'll probably change it tmr. shall think properly first. i was thinking about putting all science courses
but i was worried that i couldn't get a place in the JC that i want so i decided to put in the art courses as well [even though my humanities stinks like shit]. so this is my choice of schools:
MJC (S)
NYJC (S)
MJC (A)
NYJC (A)
SRJC (S)
SRJC (A)
TPJC (S)
TPJC (A)
SAJC (S)
ACJC (S)
AJC (S)
CJC (S)
i hope i didn't make the wrong choices. i was thinking of securing myself a place in the JC of my choice first then when the O'level results are released, i will definitely take the science course in the JC that i'm in. [but that depends on my results in O'level and whether i like JC life] actually, i was thinking of VJC as one of my top choices but i'm not confident that my O'level results can take in to VJC so i took that option out. i know MJC is quite a good school and many people wants to get into this school. but the retain rate is so high. i'm afraid i won't be able to pass my GP or even get promoted to the next level. thinking of going into a JC somehow creeps me out. i don't know what school i want to go or which route should i take that can bring me into a brighter future? i keep asking myself where i want to go but seriously, i don't know. mum can't give me proper advice. she's always telling me: "which school you like, just put it as your choice. you're the one studying what. you must like the school that you'll be studying what." HELLO!!! i know that. but the problem is i don't know whether i should go for JC or poly. and i'm such an indecisive person. i can't make decisions myself. obviously, i need help from you so i ask you for help right? and you tell me this!!! i don't know what to do. just hope that i get into my first choice... haix...
ok. i'm quite confirm that only cindy's family and my family is going to genting and nobody else... i really hate pigney!!! what's her problem? such a happy family outing and she has to ruin it by not letting jet to go!!! i think she's short of cash or something. i knew this kind of things would happen. anyway, amy and joanne are not going too. they've got exams and projects to rush and they don't have time!!! so much for being in a polytechnic!!! argh!!! why must they have schools when we have holidays!!! it just ruins that whole thing!!! argh!!! now i don't even feel like going to genting anymore but i can't cos mum specially went to make a passport for me for this trip so i can't back out!!! argh!!!
to make it up for the genting trip, amy and joanne is free on sunday to go K-boxing. but JET HAN has to go filming so he can't make it. and i think ah xiang has to entertain his aussie guest so he can't make it too. and most probably, teng doesn't want to go K-boxing cos she finds that place indecent. [is she nuts or what?] and so she's probably not going. so that leaves me, cindy, amy and joanne. i don't know whether malcolm kor kor can make it but let's just leave him out in case i'll get disappointed when more people cannot come. argh!!! it's always like that!!! when can we get a decent cousin outing with all the cousins in it!!! huh!! when!!! so there's only 4 people going. i can't see or feel any fun in this outing. it's getting duller duller each time!!! I WANT A DECENT COUSIN OUTING AND YOU GUYS ORGANISE IT!!! i don't want to organise anymore!!! it makes me feel stupid to get rejected each time... argh!!!
i've got lots of mosquitoe bites lately and i can't stand the itch until i scratch till it bleeds. i bet that it's going to leave scars on my skin. so sad. but it'll recover eventually. haha. can the mosquitoes stop biting me? i think it's because i've changed another body wash and i think the smell attract the mosquitoes. maybe i should change it but that will have to wait till i finished that bottle of body wash!!! argh!!!
kk i think it's getting late or rather early [0450 now]. so i gtg now. will update about prom next time. or maybe i won't be updating since there's nothing much about it. we shall see. haha. kk. gtg now. bye!!!
FREE AT LAST!!!
dear faeriefable
O'LEVEL EXAMINATIONS ARE OVER!!! whoopee!!! TIME TO CELEBRATE!!! haha.
well, yesterday was the last paper for O'level and it was history elective paper. totall screwed up the whole paper! the chapters that i studied didn't came out and i was so shocked!!! i didn't know how to answer all the questions, so i made up my own history and answered them. haha. this is the first time ever that i met this kind of situation and at such an important examination. i pretty much expect it to be an F9 or even a U. haha. but who cares? it's over!
i'm pretty high these few days! teng came back from china and poor her, she got sick in china. and she cried once she saw us. so sad. i almost cried but i thought to myself: "Jo, you cry for what? are you nuts?" so i held my tears up. haha. so glad to see her again!!! kind of miss her when she was away. that's so gross!!! i mean i never said such words about my family... i feel so weird now. haha.
anyway, after the history paper, siying, sheng, wan yuan, brina, calister, kendra and i went to parkway's swensen to eat. We bought the promotion "happy feet" meal and boy, the food stinks. it was some seafood baked rice thing and it had the stench of urine!!! we're like: "what's so smelly?" and we found out it was the food. it tastes alright but it smells really bad! i think mine was the smellest. didn't even finished it despite being so hungry that day. only drank a cup of milo for the whole day before that baked rice came. but the ice cream that came with the promotion meal was really yummy!!! didn't have ice cream for ages and it feels good to eat it during high spirits like yesterday!!! haha.
after eating at swensens, we went around the mall to look for some prom stuff. kendra and i like this dress but there's this big flower on it which can be taken off. kendra finds it ok with that big flower, but i think it made the whole dress look so horrible. haha. but the dress is still very nice... talking about prom, i feel so troubled and disturbed by it... i don't know what to wear!!! i really need URGENT HELP!!! i need fashion advice!!! i think i'm going to look so stupid during prom!!! AAHH!!! AMY AND JOANNE, I NEED YOU GUYS!!! HELP!!! the prom's on the 22nd of november and i've got nothing to wear!!! i'm so dead!!! it's so fast and the time's so short. what am i to do?!?!?!
one more big problem is the family's genting trip. nobody's telling me when are they free to go to the genting trip!!! i'm so dead! Sally yiyi put me in charge to discuss it with the cousins but nobody's telling me anything!!! plus my mum only can take leave on the 11th-13th december, so most probably we'll be going on these days. so cousins, if you're reading this, the genting trip is most likely to be in 11th-13th december. be sure you're free on these days!!!
it's been such a long time since i used this com and watched so much television!! i'm practically slothing at home and doing nothing but sleep, eat and watch tv. just wasting my time. i really miss school and the 4e5 people. i don't really know what to do at home. teng brought me this toy cum exercise tool to play with during my break. it's so fun. i'm trying to master it now. it's not that difficult once you got the hang of it but i scared the string will break due to friction. but still, it's fun and a good exercise for your hands and arms. haha.
ok i think i got to go now. my blog has finally come to live, calister!!! haha. ok. gtg now. bye!!!
