time
i'm having empty feelings now. everything feel of no importance to me. sometimes, i don't even know what i'm thinking or feeling. and why i'm having these kind of feelings.well, i really have nothing to say. maybe i should just talk about the events that happened in the past few days. joyce just switched off the light in the room. that means she'll be sleeping and i'll be the only person awake for now.
i can't remember much about the happenings so i'll just elaborate on some latest ones.
well, these few days i'm broke. only had $2 to bring to school. papa gave us $6 pocket money daily but i owe teng $10 so i'm repaying her $2 each day so that leaves $4. then i'm saving $2 each day so that i will have money for the saturday outing. so ended up i'm left with $2 to bring to school each day. it's not really nice to be broke but it helps me to resist myself from buying extra food and useless stuff. so that can be counted as an advantage. plus it also stops me from going out after school to eat lunch and to go home straight after school to eat lunch at home which is basically bread with peanut butter and nutella spread... yummy~!!!
thursday was the start of the chinese intensive remedial which is so useless. i'm not trying to be mean here but it's the fact that fei fei is lazy and practically don't know how to teach. thank goodness i still have chinese tuition or i can be prepared to fail chinese for O's (choy!). i was very pissed on thursday cos fei fei wasn't teaching at all. she was just letting the class watch some crap videos which is so irrevelant to chinese and it's just a waste of MY TIME. it's like i'm just staying back for the sake of staying back. and i still have to wait for the time to strike 3pm and wait for her to say the lesson has ended before i can go home. i was already feeling pissed. so after class ended, i had to wait for siying so that we could go home together. so i had to wait for her until 3.30pm. wait and wait and wait... finally when her class had ended, i thought we could finally go home but no. she and gang wanted to watch the interclass netball tournament. so i was like " i don't want" and "i wait so long already. now still have to wait again." but even after much "confrontations", they still continued with their own plans which is to watch the interclass netball tournament. practically treating me as some transparent somebody and taking me for granted. so i was already pissed because of the intensive chinese remedial crap and i'm more pissed because of having to wait for them even longer. so i waited for them awhile until i finally cannot take the waiting anymore and i just left with a sort of pissed face.
i just don't understand why is it that i have to be the one doing the waiting everytime? and after that day, i realised that they didn't wait for me before. i'm always the one waiting for them. and i've also decided that i'm not going to wait anymore. i'll just go home myself. i'm sick of waiting. waiting and waiting and waiting. and wondering when they will be done. and in the end, after waiting it turns out to be like this. i'm taken for granted. this isn't a good feeling. it just shows that i'm of no importance as a friend. i'm sad.
well, today (friday) i sticked to my plans of going home and not wait anymore. so i went home myself and i met calister at the bus stop and we started chatting. reached home really early today at around 1.45pm. but i just waste the time off by watching crapping shows on the tv and taking my own sweet time to eat lunch. time. once it's gone, it'll never come back. even if you wish i'll come back, it'll never will. people just keeping growing older and older... how i wish one day, time will just freeze and everybody will no longer have to grow old and reminisce the past... don't you think so?
well, i think i'm done with this entry. i've got a feeling that i'm wiser now... haha. kk gtg now. bye!!!
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