PRELIMS
dear faeriefablei'm finally back! well, been very busy these few days with all the examinations going on. finally survived one whole week of PRELIMS but there's still one more week to go. so i still have to cramp into more books. but next week's exams would be much more relaxed as most of them are MCQs.
i've already given up on the 3 months trial to jc already. i knew it when i took the english and i'm more confirmed about it after i've taken the geography paper. i never finished practically all the papers that i did. so i think i'm a gone case for now. i'm very worried i'm not going to survived for O'level.
i'm feeling so restless now. the feeling of knowing that you've survived a week of intense studying and that the exams next week are more relaxed makes me feel like a sloth again. i'm starting to slack again.
i'm very disturbed by the fact that everyone thinks that i'm a teacher's pet. and even my close friends are thinking this way. why can't they just understand that this is not what i wanted? it's not like i can stop the teacher from her actions. i'm not as good as what you guys expect. and i'm far worse than you expect. when prelims' results comes back, i can prove to you that all of it are generally Cs. i've always hated being compared with others. from young it has been like that. now there's even more comparison. when i heard from melissa about j*****, i somehow feel so broken. i thought my classmates are nice people. but they're nice on the outside but evil on the inside. now i know that a teacher's action can make so much difference to how people look at you. i don't want it to be this way. i'm not a teacher's pet for goodness sake! i hate people who thinks that i am! i hate it!
i'm missing cousins now. feel like asking them out but i'm trying very hard to do that. cos if i do, then i wouldn't have the urge to study anymore. the thought that i can go out with them after the exams has keep me surviving through this exam period. and all the encouragements that cindy and jet gave me really lightens my heart. makes me feel so wanted. makes me feel that i have to someone to lean to when i'm down. i feel so bless having them. i'm very determined that i'm going to call the cousins and ask them out after the exams. so cousins, if you're reading this, prepare to leave some spare time for an outing together, ok? i miss you guys!
everyone's so hardworking... i feel so pressurised. i have no goals or aims. i have no direction to follow. how i wish my parents can sometimes help me decide on some things. will this be the end of my future?
ok. gtg now. think i won't be touching the com for another week. so i'll update again when i touched the com. bye!
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