can't stop eating

MJC

dear faeriefable

it's been a long time since i last wrote an entry. well, i haven't been doing much nowadays. have been feeling a little lost and troubled these few days. no ambition. no goal. no future. got back my prelim results and am quite happy with it that i started to get a little complacent. i know it's bad to be complacent. i want to stop it but i don't know how. and i'm not really sure whether it's complacency but i just feel that i've slacken alot after the prelims which should be a no-no! what am to do?

friday (13/10/06) was jet's birthday but we didn't get to celebrate it for him. sand a birthday song to him through the phone. think he was really touched and surprise by my actions. haha. we also had an early birthday celebration for brina and charmaine. it was really rushed but everything went out well in the end. went to mjc's and tjc's openhouse on friday before celebrating their birthdays. tjc's not really appealing to me. so i think i'm leaving that out as my choice. mjc's school and facilities are way too attractive. i'm loving that school already. but i think i can't make it. plus, pa says it's kind of far away from our home. but i think that's not going to stop me! oh my gosh. i'm so attracted to mjc!!! AAAHHH!!

i've been wasting my time these days watching some korean series which i know is a no-no at this critical period. but my siblings are watching it and it's really tempting. i just can't avoid their temptation. moreover, i've been gorging food into my mouth whenever i'm studying which makes me feel very uncomfortable and listless. in the end, i've got a tummy ache. i think it's just a habitual behaviour. whenever i'm stress or bored, i'll just pop food into my mouth and eventually the consequence is always a tummy upset and so on. i've got to stop all these actions and get serious now. but i can't get myself going. JOJO! WHAT ARE DOING? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THIS? YOU HAVE TO BE SERIOUS YOU KNOW! WHERE DID YOUR SERIOUSNESS GO TO? GO FIND IT BACK! ARGH!!! i'm going to explode soooner or later!!! someone help!!!

been missing the cousins whenever i'm bored and listless. mum says that there will be a chalet on the 20th but i doubt i'll be going. i've got to start cracking and mug!!! but i don't sense the motivation in my heart and mind. i feel that the motivation to go to mjc isn't very great. i've got to get some motivation!!! come on jo! you can do it!!! go go go!!!

kk. i think i gtg now. bye!

posted by Jos @ 10:43 PM