I'M SO SCARED!!!
dear faeriefableTOMORROW'S THE DAY!!! I'M SO SCARED!!! HOW?!?! I CAN'T STOP THINKING AND WORRYING ABOUT MY RESULTS!!! CAN I MAKE IT? WILL I MAKE IT? WHAT IF I DON'T MAKE IT?!?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?!?! AAAAAHHH!!! HELP!!!
my mind is bombarded with lots of questions and "what if". i really can't stop thinking about my results. i'm very worried that i'll get disappointing grades and i can't go to the school of my choice. besides, i still haven't decided on where i want to go and what i want for my future. i'm so scared! i really need someone to give me advice and calm me down. i'm so panicky now! mum's not going to get the results with me. this is like the first time she's not accompanying me to take something so important in my life. i can't believe it! i wanted her to go with me but i was really a little embarrassed to tell her since i'm a big girl already. i thought she would take leave to accompany me without me telling her. she always do that in the past. now, i have to face the truth all by myself. it's like a signal to me that i have to start growing up and not depend on my mum anymore. oh man! i'm so scared!!! i think i can't make it! i think i will fail my english, geography and combine humanities! i think i'll disappoint myself and my parents and teachers! i think i'm so going to be doom tmr! what am i to do?!?! AAHHH!!!
i feel so stress and i can't stop myself from feeling that way. i know i'm back to my old self again. being paranoid and all, but the fact is i really am very worried about my results. everyone in school seem so relax and confident. they look like they can get into the school of their choice and get flying colours in O'levels. i don't have confident in myself. i didn't finish my geography paper, my social studies paper and my history elective paper. my english is so poor. how am i going to pass?!?! how am i going to get into the school of my choice? how am i going to have a bright future? i probably fail english and all my humanities in O'level. i think these are the subjects that are going to pull my marks down. worse still, i didn't complete my physics paper! man! there goes my A1 for physics! it's going to be bad news tomorrow! i know it! i know it's going to be bad news! how?!?! i don't want bad news! i want good news! but what can i do about it?!?! i'm so scared! HELP ME!!!
time really flies. i didn't expect the release of the results to be so soon. i know i have to face it someday but i didn't know that that day was so near. all the time spent in MJC was so enjoyable that i forgot the time. that is why people always say that time passes so fast when you do happy things. i totally agree. what if my results can't take me to MJC?!?! what if no schools would want me?!?! i have no talent and i have no grades to prove that i'm capable. which school would want a student like me? they prolly want better people out there. they won't want a dumbo like me. man!! i can't take it anymore!!! i going to burst sooner or later!!! all the questions! all the worries! i don't know what to do!!! i bet cousins, relatives, friends and everyone around me would ask me how much i got. how am i going to tell them about the bad news? how am i going to face them all? i don't know. i think i would just lock myself up in my bedroom and cry all day. i think i'll be so ashamed to face the world. i'm going crazy!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!
maybe i should start thanking every new friend that i made in MJC who have brighten up my day and made a differences in my life. i know i cannot make it to MJC with my results. so in case i won't be seeing them anymore, i'll just dedicate some thanks to them for being my friends.
to Atlas 7: thank you guys for changing me into a better person and to help me realise the other side of myself. thank you for being my friends and thank you for all the fun jokes, laughters and everything that made my every single day in MJC so fulfilling. i wish you guys all the best in what you do and good luck for O'levels! we have bonded so much but it's a pity that we have to split classes. i will remember you guys and will always be a friend of all of you. thank you peeps for all the crappiness and everything!
to ben, siwee, freda and terence: thank you guys for making such a wonderful start in my MJC life. the orientation was great and all the hard work has paid off. i really appreciate the efforts that you guys put in during orientation and making Atlas 7 so bonded! you guys are marvellous seniors and OGLs. i love you guys! [although this sounds a little weird. but you know what i mean. haha] hope to see you guys again. [if i really can make it to MJC, that is.] wish you guys all the best and good luck in whatever you do! hope you guys have a great valentine's day this year. [although i know ben will be so sad on that day. haha. don't worry, ben. your right girl will appear soon. haha.] thanks for all the crappiness, laughter and fun! THANK YOU ALL!!!
to 07S201: thank you guys for making lessons so enjoyable. thanks to all the girls for making PE seem so fun and less exhausting. [although i know it still is tiring] thank you peeps for making chinese lessons so entertaining and for lightening up the atmosphere during chemistry lessons. thank you guys for making GP lessons so interesting and less difficult. [but i still know it's tough] thank you guys [especially powerpuff girls, and the gang from Atlas 7] for all the gossips and crap that we had in school. thank you for making recess lively and less lonesome. i really appreciate the accompaniment of all of you. all the best to you guys and wish you guys good luck for your O'level results!
i know i still got lots more of people to thank. i'll thank them personally when i see them or else this post will be super long and many peeps will complain again. but oh well, i think i still decide the length of my entry as long as i like it. haha. i have somehow calm down a little while typing out the "thank you" messages. it just reminds me of all the many wonderful memories i've spent in MJC. what great time i had! i know happy times passes fast so i just have to accept it that all these are just memories stored in the head and can't be driven back. reality reality. why must we always face reality? why can't we just live in dreamland and forever not wake up? then all the happy things will stay forever. -sigh-
oh well. i think i gtg now. once again, i thank you peeps for making friends with me. thank you! gtg now. bye!
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