BORED! BORED! BORED!
dear faeriefablei'm all alone at home. teng, boy and ying went to have lunch with mum at her workplace. i didn't want to go because i don't feel like seeing mum. well, sometimes, i just hate my parents. i feel that being with them is just so awkward and they are like so fake. i just want to avoid these kind of situations. moreover, even if i go out with them, i don't have much things to talk about with them. i guess this is what people called generation gap. oh well, just like things be the way it is. i don't really care much already.
well, recently my parents quarrelled again. i think it happened on monday. papa wanted to have a talk with mum but he sounds so angry and fierce. so we feared that he will use violence on mum. he wanted to go downstairs to talk to mum but mum don't want cos she was afraid of him. then mum went into the computer room and i was at the door to stop pa from locking her in the room. but pa had so much strength that i could not push the door against his force. then mum was left alone with pa in the room. we were so scared and we kept crying outside the room. teng went to call sally yi yi for help. sally yi yi came and went into the room to calm things down. i was quite relieved when sally yi yi came. i really didn't know what to do and joyce was not around so i was the eldest among the children. we could only sit outside the room and keep crying. they were shouting and screaming at each other. seriously, i think this is very bad for the children and me in the house but what can we do? they're not good parents who set good examples in front of us. they are just selfish people who only cares about themselves. i could hear pa saying things about me that doesn't sound nice at all. now i know how he sees about me. how he thinks about his daughter me. i hate him. i don't even feel like talking to him. he only thinks that he's the only one right in the family. he's such a bossy idiot. GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!! I HATE YOU!!! YOU'RE JUST A NOBODY!!! i don't see you as my father anymore. how can you be my father when you say those stuff about me in front of my aunt and mum? how can you ever think that way about me? i really don't wish to see you. after this quarrel, the urge of leaving this house grows stronger. everybody seems even more fake now. it's just a pretence in their faces. even i have to pretend that i'm interested in the talks they give. argh!!! i don't want to pretend!!! i want to be me. but how can i in this kind of family? other than my siblings and my tv, i have no will to live in this house. this is so irritating and mind-torturing. argh!!!
ok. i'm still so bored. the day is so hot and humid. and there is nothing to do other than watching my youtube shows and watching tv. i think all my life is spent wasting on television shows and all those entertainment stuff. i'm just wasting my life away. don't you think people are such weirdos? i mean when you have work or school, you wish to have a holiday or a break. but when the break or holiday comes, people wish to work or study. i'm a live example. i really wish to have something to do. although there is one certain thing i have to do at home which is the only or maybe the most troublesome work i have to do in the world, i have no wish to do. and that is housechores. argh!!! my gosh. who wants to pack the house man? i mean stiffing all the dust and clearing all the books. argh!!! thinking of it makes me sick. haha. i don't mind washing and hanging the clothes or maybe wash the dishes. but packing, no way!!! haha.
i went to ritz carlton yesterday to fill up the job application. they said they will call me when they need people. i guess they won't be calling me forever. so that means i'm still jobless. haix.. i seriously need a job!!! i want a job!!! math tutor, anyone? it's for free!!! i'm desperate to do something. come on man!! i think i'm so weird. i'm a weirdo. lalalalalalalala~ haha. ok this shows that i'm seriously bored. youtube is so slow. haix... i'm just crapping here. haha.
oh ya. come to think of it. i think i'll be locking up my blog. seriously, i don't wish to let people know about me much. i guess this is my weakness point. haha. other than my cousins and certain friends, i don't really wish to let anyone know about this place. this is the place where i let out my emotions and where i feel safe to express myself. so i don't really want to let many people know about this place to disrupt this safe place. i like this place. it's like a diary where i can hear advice and encouraging words from my love ones when i have difficulty telling them face to face or tell them through the MSN. so i think my decision to lock this place is right. hope people out there who come and view this blog would understand. but the problem is i don't know how to lock it!!! argh!!! i'm so weird. i explain so much about why i want to lock this place but i don't know how to lock. haha. ok. i know it's quite lame. haha. i'll ask cindy for help to lock this place of mine. haha.
guess i gtg now. don't have much to say too although i've been crapping alot here. haha. well, gtg now. bye!
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